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Saturday, April 16th, 2005
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last night was rrhs prom. it was sweet. i hung out with nick all day and helped him get ready and jank. went and got his hair trimmed (looked good) and then went to his moms to get that tux on. *whistles* so hott. haha but yeah, then we went and got brandi and we had to make the rounds; nicks dads house, nicks moms house again, honk kong house. haha it was great. so they left and went to prom and i hung out with justin, jason, stephanie, brandon and some other dude named bobby but i kept calling him barbra. heh. that was a cool kid. other than that, my day wasn't that bad although a call here and there from him wouldn't of hurt. but i can never seem to get him on the phone for longer than 10 minutes. i guess i should just give up. i mean, i can take a hint. i don't want him to not even want to be friends with me. so yeah..today i'm going to rm with dill to get some new mudvayne cd so yesh. should be back around 2 or 3. then after than of course i gotta go hang out with nick and i think we gotta go get anthony from his house. i promised we'd hang out today.....and i keep my promises. well it's 12:03 and i'm not dressed or anything. i'm going to go take a shower. isn't it nice of me to update this jank now? i better recieve comments. peace out.
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| Subject: | bio |
| Time: | 12:02 am. |
| Mood: |  confused is what i am.. | | Music: | alterbridge. |
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ehh, so i really don't know what's going on anymore. life's really playing with my head now. i'm uncertain of who my "true" friends are now. i know i can depend on some of them, but others are just lying to me and just turning their backs on me. everyday i hear the same old shit but with a different person; a different friend. their talking smack about me. i really don't understand it, but then again, when do we ever understand why people are the way they are? and then there is him. i like him a lot. have for a few weeks now. i don't really think he truly understands how much i feel for him. i'd do anything to be with him every second of my life..every second of the rest of my life. sometimes he shows the same feelings back towards me, and other times..eh..i'm unsure. and i hate not knowing how he feels. i hate it. what if he doesn't like me? what if he's afraid i'll just hurt him again? goddamn me for ever hurting him. i'd do anything to take back what i did. but i was stupid and unaware of what i had. and now, i'd do anything to have it back. if he only knew..
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Thursday, April 14th, 2005
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so yeah. it's been a while i know. but there's nothing new with me. same shit different day. i cannot get happy. i cannot make anyone happy. what's there to say..
at least i have friends to put smiles on my face.
x stephiii x: i dont give people cancer
x stephiii x: lol
x stephiii x: or at least, i hope not
x stephiii x: shesh:-\
SDGRsr4: hanging with gretchen, ball cancer
x stephiii x: !=-O=-O=-O=-O
x stephiii x: JORDY
x stephiii x: hahahaha!
SDGRsr4: nick, big toe cancer
x stephiii x: roland?
SDGRsr4: cancer of the hormone that makes you grow
SDGRsr4: reverse effects take place
x stephiii x: jason?
SDGRsr4: cancer of the galnds that produce BO after plumbing
x stephiii x: omfg um..TAYLOR!
x stephiii x: ????!?!?!?
SDGRsr4: cancer of the ass hair
x stephiii x: omfg jordy i think i love you
x stephiii x: hahahaha
SDGRsr4: well, thats all good, but stay away
SDGRsr4: i dont want ball cancer...
SDGRsr4: ok
SDGRsr4: yeah i do
x stephiii x: LOL
SDGRsr4: give me a hug
x stephiii x: what do you give?
SDGRsr4: cancer of the crooked penis
x stephiii x: true that, jordy. trueee thattt.
SDGRsr4: being around justin too much, you might get metallicancer
x stephiii x: i do believe that may also be true.:-(poor kid.
SDGRsr4: yeah
x stephiii x: hum, brandon?
SDGRsr4: cancer of motor skills
x stephiii x: lauren?
SDGRsr4: thinking cancer
x stephiii x: heh!
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giving in to what has got me
feeling claustrophobic, scarred
severed me from all emotion
life is just too fucking hard
SNAP! your face was all it took
cuz this need ain't doin' me no good
fall on my face, but can't you see?
this fucking life is KILLING ME!
<3 slipknot
everybody's so infatuated
everybody's so completely sure of what we are
everybody defamates from miles away
but face to face, they haven't got a thing to say
i bleed for this and i bleed for you
still you look in my face like i'm somebody new
toy - nobody wants anything i've got
which is fine, because you're made of
everything - i'm - NOT
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| Subject: | rar! |
| Time: | 10:23 pm. |
| Mood: |  mmhmm.. | | Music: | "free falling"- tom petty. |
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ehh. last night was fucking great. lake water is fucking cold though forreal. hahaha. but anyways, it was a great night hanging out with people i want to start seeing a lot more of.
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Thursday, March 31st, 2005
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i. me. yes, stephanie thomas, had an excelent day today. nothing went wrong. and yesterday, wasn't that bad either. nick came and got me and i went to town with him. kev came and got me and we met up with tyler and jimmie and hung out a bit. then we all ended up at jordys house and it was a whole shit load of us outside and jake and it was all just fun fun fun. 'cept for the whole "oh i want to fight dadadada" and then running away when they actually show up. humm..but anyways, i'm not going to get into that >_< so yeah um, hung out with kev and dill today. had a great time in walmart that i'll never forget. spent $14 in change at McD's. ahh yes. and dill lost his burger. poor kid. he's so cool though.and anthony, you gay.
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someone i can trust
someone i believe
someone who will never try
to bring me to my knees
someday i will find again
someone just like me
someone who will take the :: time
>>in understanding me
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You are |
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i had a pretty prom dress...
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| Subject: | </3 |
| Time: | 4:43 pm. |
| Mood: |  lonely. | | Music: | Matchbook Romance. |
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what would you say if i asked you not to go?
to forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
would you take my hand? and never let me go?
promise me ...you'll never let me go
and the stars aren't out tonight,
but neither are we to look up at them
why does hello feel like goodbye ???
these memories can't replace,
these wishes i wished and these dreams i chased
take this broken </3 heart and make it right
i feel like i lost everything when you're gone
left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
i thought you should know,
you're not making this easy
i never thought i'd be the one to say
please don't, please don't leave me
take my hand and never let me go,
take my hand and never let me go,
promise me...
you'll never let go
you'll never let go
you'll never let go
you'll never let go
make this last :: forever ::
you're not making this easy
you're not making this easy
you're not making this easy
you're not making this easy
you're not making this easy
so fall asleep tonight, cuz’ that brings me closer to you.
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Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
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| Subject: | SSDD |
| Time: | 8:35 pm. |
| Mood: |  blank. | | Music: | The Used <3333. |
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people change..what else is there to say? life goes on....unfortunately.
thanks so much kev, martha, anna, and tyler. i don't know where i'd be without y'all.
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well i'll wait til you listen
i won't say a word
to follow your :: instincts ::
will just never work for me
oh you're silent >> but strong
yeah i'm playing that card
and you're noticing nothing again
now i'm lying on the table
with everything you said
keeping in mind the way that it felt
when the most i could do
was to just .. blame myself
taking back sunday <3
"we've got to get better," i said, "it's all in your head."
we could live through these letters or forget it all together
see the months they don't matter >>> it's the days i can't take
when the hours move to minutes and i'm seconds away
just ask the question ((come untie the knot))
say you won't care say you won't care
retrace the steps as if we forgot
say you won't care say you won't care
try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
and there's one thing i can do nothing about
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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
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| Subject: | mmkay. |
| Time: | 9:24 pm. |
| Mood: |  madafukagoweeeeeeeee. | | Music: | pink floyd. |
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ahh this past weekend has been great, spent a llllooooooooootttttttttt of time with my martha. (me love you martha!) although you can't pierce belly buttons straight haha but yesh, we had a great time and today. i got my Napoleon Dynamite DVD! HECK YESH. i've waited for this since the first time i saw it. thanks amanda. haha well, today was great, thats all yall have to know. :)
'you're just jealous i've been chattin online with babes all day. and besides, everyone knows im training to be a cage fighter.'
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Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
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Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
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todays beena a blah day..found out me and martha go way back :O imagine that! haha this is great..this weekend is going to be so lovely! :D
i know what darkness means
(and the void u learned from me)
the isolation stings
(so it thick it wants to bleed)
the echoes in my brain
(all the things u said to me)
u took my everything
(now I’m coming for u)
i won’t back down
i will not bow
(i’ve come to bring u hell)
i can’t forget
things u did
(i’ve come to bring u hell)
the shadows that u see
(in places that u sleep)
are memories of me
(better pray your soul to keep)
the truth behind ur eyes
(u know the thing u never see)
ur darkest little lies
(i’m coming for u)
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Monday, February 21st, 2005
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memories are just where you laid them
drag the waters ’till the depths give up their dead
what did you expect to find?
was there something you left behind?
don’t you remember anything I said when I said
don’t fall away, and leave me to myself
don’t fall away and leave love bleeding
in my hands, in my hands again
leave love bleeding
in my hands, in my hands
love lies bleeding
oh hold me now I feel contagious
am I the only place that you’ve left to go
she cries her life is like
some movie black and white
dead actors faking lines
over and over and over again she cries
and I wanted
you turned away
you don’t remember, but I do
you never even tried
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Friday, February 18th, 2005
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well today was fun fun fun! i got home from school (blah) and nick picked me up and we went to town. i got us some free pizza (mmm) and then went to brandis to watch a movvvvie. well caleb made his lil butt-butt to town and he picked me up around 8:30 and we went to get megan (woo hoo) and some jackass punched calebs carizle and he wasn't too happy about all of that. so yeah we called the cops and he got taken away......forever. ..........no not really. he walked away..alone. hehe. so now im at home..with megan.. (i know i know :X) haha just messin...i wuv my meggy poo pooo poopoopooopoooo and tomorrow is going to be fun!
MESSAGES *MEAN FACE* .......or else.
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Thursday, February 17th, 2005
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okay, see i got this awesomeness cow from my school cafeteria because the lunch ladies love me! i stop to talk to them everyday when i'm in line and stuff and well, i've been asking them about a cow the hung from the ceiling in the corner that read "cold milk served here" and well, a lot of people wanted it. but i actually asked her could i have it........everyday for like 3 weeks. and like i said, the lunch ladies love me because day before yesterday i was gettin breakfast and she said "you can pick up your cow after school today" i was like HELLS YES :D so after school kristina, woody and me packed him in the backseat and brought him to my house. me and mom hung him up today..he looks so great! i took a picture of him..whcih y'all have to see (my picture) it's awesome!!
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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
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| Time: | 5:11 pm. |
| Mood: |  creative. | | Music: | candy shop. |
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lalala sittin' here waitin for caleb to come over, so i'll take this 'free' time to update this thing. i have a great vday and i hope everyone else did also. i came home from school all blah because almost everyone had flowers and ballons and all this other stuff from their valentines and im all "yeah...." but then i came home( after drivers ed..blah got out early though) and caleb came over in the lil blue car it was great haha! and i was all like "yay!" because caleb was MY valentine :)and ive been wanting to ride in the lil blue car forever now haha so anyways he got me a beautiful rose and a new squichy pillow for my room to match my carpet haha! its niiice i love them. it goes great with my other two haha. i got him a huge chocholate kiss..mmmmm. well we stayed here and bit and then went to his church for some youth thing. it was pretty cool. so after all of that we came home and went out seperate ways. but laaaaaterr that night, guess who asked me out. yesh, he did. and it was great. totally makin this vday the best one ever. ahh it's great. yes, yes i know. but anyways i think i hear him pulling up. later everyone!
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xstephiiix's journal
i drink 1%.
stressed.
mmkay..
angry.
EKK.
giddy.
bouncy.